You can reach me by clicking here to send me an email.

Feel free to drop me a line about anything. And by that, I mean anything except correspondence related to the following topics:

  • molecular biology
  • global warming and why it will kill my children
  • Nigerian investment opportunities
  • Fred Durst
  • people who call their pets “four-legged children”
  • how to increase the size of anything
  • James Cameron
  • anything including the phrase: “It is what it is.”
  • people with more than two stuffed animals in the back window of their car
  • Paris Hilton
  • Perez Hilton
  • anything including the phrase: “Adrian Brody is a sexy beast.”
  • Sex & The City (including the show, movies, stars, fashions, etc.)
  • people who defend Roman Polanski
  • Kate Gosselin
  • anything using the words “Uwe Boll” and “blockbuster” in the same sentence
  • really mean criticism

I can’t even go there. Don’t test me on this. Inquiries related to the above topics are subject to summary deletion and submission of the offender’s address to the Lillian Vernon mailing list.

Thanks for visiting!